In her wonderful book “The Serviceberry,” Robin Wall Kimmerer describes the economy of some indigenous tribes in North America as being centered on a currency of gratitude and reciprocity. Gratitude and reciprocity have the remarkable property of increasing with every exchange. Here reciprocity does not mean a reciprocal “payment” for a gift. It is instead a way to keep the gifts in motion, flowing, so that they do not accumulate. You give something to me; so, in gratitude and reciprocity I then give something else to someone else. Thus, the abundance flows and grows making everyone feel more bonded to each other, wealthy, and secure.  

Many of us are aware of the potlatches practiced by tribes in the northwest. When someone had become too wealthy by their standards, further accumulation was regarded as a faux pas. Thus, wealthy people would individually throw great parties and generously provide food and drink and gifts to others until their wealth was brought back down to an acceptable size. Such festive occasions showed off the person’s great wealth, but also endeared the wealthy person to others, created cohesion between tribal members, and ensured that everyone had enough, since no one accumulated too much wealth at the cost of their fellow tribal member. There was recognition that receiving abundance from the land, as a successful hunter might experience, came with the attached responsibilities of sharing, respect for others, reciprocity, and gratitude.  

When a successful hunter was asked by a white man why he gave away his extra meat rather than dry it and store it for the future, the response was a shocked, “but I store it in the belly of my neighbor.” It was obvious to all of the tribes that storing one’s excess riches in the bellies of one’s neighbors was the best and obvious way to live. When white settlers came to understand this, their reaction was to outlaw potlatches when they had the power to do so. Potlatches were seen as contrary to “the civilized values of accumulation.” They undermined the notions of individual property and advancement essential to assimilation into the colonial agenda. (They also undermine the idea of cutthroat capitalism.) The shared abundance and social cohesion in the tribes was seen as a threat.  

Now we see in high places a comparable phenomenon. Elon Musk recently stated, “We’ve got civilizational suicidal empathy going on.” In his culture and the culture of the upper echelons of the federal executive branch such as cabinet members, empathy, like potlatches, is a threat. They seem to think that it makes those shown empathy weak and a burden to others. That thinking concludes that kindness and compassion are destroying society by making people soft, unwilling and eventually unable to work hard and “get ahead.” 

However, the opposite might well be true. “Ecopsychologists have shown that the practice of gratitude and reciprocity, which evolved in tribal cultures that survived thousands of years in their environments, puts brakes on hyper consumption. The relationships nurtured by gift giving, with its resulting creation of a sense of gratitude and security, diminish the fear of scarcity and want. In that climate of sufficiency, the hunger for ever more stuff diminishes. We ultimately take only what we need, out of respect for the generosity of the giver and the security that in the future, we shall also receive what we need. Then excess accumulation is seen as a faux pas rather than something to be envied. I think there is a chance that such a social and economic environment could be part of the solution to end the climate catastrophe, biodiversity loss, and vast economic inequality. All these things are the result of the unrestrained hording by humans and that could be better understood as civilizational suicidal madness.  

 “When an economic system destroys what we love, is it not time for a different system?” (Robin Wall Kimmerer) Imagine living without empathy and compassion for others. What a grim way to live! I believe the ultimate result of people not practicing empathy, sharing, and compassion would be the demise of civilization. When all human interactions are only transactional chess moves that computer algorithms make rather than relationships of actual human beings, civilization becomes a dystopia. Kindness, empathy, and compassion enrich us all. Indeed, most of us know the good feelings we have when doing a good deed for another. One woman I know ends all her emails with the saying, “All that really matters in life is what we do for others.” (Mother Teresa) Evolutionary biologists now acknowledge that evolution is not only about survival of the fittest. In fact, it is more about survival of the organisms that live in symbiotic relationship with others in their environment. In an apex ecosystem like a rain forest, there is a beautiful give and take, a reciprocity among the animals, plants, fungi, and a slew of other organisms.  

I agree that one must balance empathy with rationality, and one must structure help in a way truly beneficial to others and not in a manner that incapacitates them. However, I also believe that empathy and compassion for others are absolutely necessary for civilization to exist. No one can do it all. No rugged individual can totally care for him or herself without help from others. That is the reality of life. As Robin Wall Kimmerer states at the end of her book, “All Flourishing is Mutual.”

Elizabeth (Beth) Kinney moved to the valley in 1993, attracted to Alamosa by Valley-Wide Health Services. She worked as a family practice physician for seven years and then moved to emergency care. Kinney worked as an emergency physician first at the Alamosa and Rio Grande Hospitals and later at the Conejos County Hospital until retiring in 2017.