My friends in the San Luis Valley, I am sorry to take so long to share an update with you.

Thank you for your support, thoughtfulness, prayers and encouragement during this past difficult year. I have felt surrounded by love and kindness from you all. I am so grateful to have been able to call the San Luis Valley home for so many decades and to call so many of you my friends.

The holidays were bittersweet as we celebrated the family that remained and missed our sweet Mamma who always made the holidays so special for us. We tried to maintain family traditions and sweet memories. I miss my mother and her friendship so much.

Since Mamma died from cancer in August, I have been spending about half my time in Pueblo with my father who cannot see well enough to drive. I have been privileged to have the time to spend with him and am grateful for whatever time we have left.

I have been meeting with Dr. Cooper in Alamosa every month, and she has been such an upbeat and positive encouragement to me and my family. She has always been upfront with me, as well, and answered all the hard questions. I opted not to go the chemotherapy route because it would not have been helpful and would have just made me more miserable. I have concentrated on treasuring life and the time that is left for me. Dr. Cooper has helped me manage my pain as the pancreatic cancer has progressed.

This last visit did not bring good news. I have been grateful that my liver and kidneys have continued functioning properly, I still have appetite and I have not suffered as much pain as I might have. I also have been grateful for the miracle of more time, as many people with pancreatic cancer have not had that privilege. I know that is a miracle and answer to many prayers.

However, the tumor/mass had doubled again in the past month. The mass had doubled each month in the last three months, which is of course not good news.

I talked plainly with Dr. Cooper about the future, and she was honest with me, as she always has been, which I appreciate. There will not be another Christmas for me, short of a major miracle, and quite frankly we are talking months to live.

I have always been at peace with that prospect and have always said that I am all right with whatever happens, whether the healing is in this life or in heaven. I have no complaints with God and make no demands of Him. He has already granted me more time and has already given me so many wonderful memories and friends and family who have loved me.

I only regret the pain that my family will go through in losing another family member so soon after Mamma’s passing. I know my family will continue to trust in the God who will hold them in His arms through that time, as He always has held them, and as He continues to hold each of you.

You are more precious than life to Him – and to me.

With love and gratitude,

Ruth Heide