Still Waters: More weird items to occupy your brain

  • Listen up! March is Listening Awareness Month. A consultant, trainer, entrepreneur and author of a book, “Feedback Revolution,” (her business card must be very busy) can give tips on how to “empower your audience to anticipate and solve communication-based problems to maximize performance, minimize risk and achieve superior performance in today's global marketplace—across every industry and every generation.”

Seriously? It’s unfortunate that we need someone to tell us how to listen to “minimize risk.” Just set the cell phone down a minute and pay attention already!

  • Hurry up and clean up your act! You only have until 11:50 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (which means earlier here) to “Nominate for Cintas Janitor of the Year.” The Cintas Corporation will be accepting nominations for those who make schools safer than security guards by keeping them clean all year. (Nominations are being accepted online at www.cintas.com/JOTY through today, Friday, March 2.) The winning janitor will receive $5,000 in Cintas and Rubbermaid products and services for his or her school. The drumroll announcement of the winner will be made after public voting concludes on April 20. The finalist with the most votes will be crowned “Janitor of the Year.”

Those might be the real heroes in school buildings.

  • Move over $6 Million Man and Bionic Woman: “University of Colorado Boulder researchers have developed a new type of malleable, self-healing and fully recyclable ‘electronic skin’ that has applications ranging from robotics and prosthetic development to better biomedical devices. Electronic skin, known as e-skin, is a thin, translucent material that can mimic the function and mechanical properties of human skin. A number of different types and sizes of wearable e-skins are now being developed in labs around the world as researchers recognize their value in diverse medical, scientific and engineering fields.”

So go out and scrape as many knees as you want. You can just slap on some new “electronic skin.”

Or maybe not. I’ll bet it’s not available at the dollar store.

  • In the sensible versus senseless shoe department: “As New York Fashion Week Begins, Top Orthopedic Specialists Available for Expert Commentary on Avoiding Injury While Wearing High Heels” Mount Sinai doctors can provide expert tips on how to stay stylish while avoiding common injuries associated with wearing high heels.

How about avoid common injuries by not wearing high heels? Some of us who were not graced with gracefulness learned long ago that high heels were literally accidents waiting to happen.

But of course models who walk the runway have to wear them. That and the fact they cannot eat more than a cube of crouton on a bed of dressing-free lettuce in a day would eliminate modeling as a profession for me.

  • Online everything: Forget the couch at the psychiatrist’s office. Some smart folks have created “wisemind.com,” an online therapy business. These entrepreneurs and psychologist have developed a “user-friendly online therapy service that gives everyone immediate access to the world’s best psychologists and psychiatrists.”

Everything else is on line. Why not therapy?

Personally, I think therapy is another good reason to get a dog. Hey, and it works well into March as “listening month.”

Dogs are the best listeners I’ve ever met.

And neither of us has to worry about wearing high heels.