I just need to get this off my chest. I went to my doctor because I am in constant pain but the way my doctor talked to me actually made me feel like the common-junkie-down-the-road - with no feelings.
I have been in two automobile accidents and have pain so bad that 80 percent of the time I’m bawled-up in tears. The other 20 percent I’m trying to find a quick way to do things so I can at least get something productive done during my day.
About the day-in-question: I made an appointment with my doctor because my back surgeon is leaving his practice and didn’t want to risk doing back surgery on me and then have just anyone do my after-care. So, until he got me an appointment with another back surgeon, he recommended I see my doctor to help me with my severe pain. But, that didn’t happen.
Instead, I was crying so hard in my doctor’s office they had to get someone to calm me down. I am currently in the methadone program. I just got out of corrections for things I’m by far NOT proud of but I have changed my life and to be treated like I was some kind of junkie/addict threw me for a loop.
I’m in the methadone program because I have severe pain, not the pain and suffering associated with heroin addiction, but because until I got out of corrections the methadone program was the only thing I could do and not get into trouble and it would help me with pain. However, if I had known I would be treated like an outcast or a junkie/addict I would never have signed into the program.
In my eyes, my doctor treated me inhumanely, like I was a pill-seeker, when in fact I just want to be able to sleep and maybe get through a day without crying. Instead, I couldn’t walk out of the doctor’s office after my recent appointment because I was crying so hard I had to regain my composure before I could walk out into the lobby and out of the clinic.
I feel like I’m under attack not only from my own body but from people who automatically judge me, including doctors who took a VOW to help suffering people no matter what their history is. I am not a heroin user and that is not why I was in the methadone program. But, because of the way I was treated by my doctor, I am now stopping the methadone program. Get this, my doctor put me on that program to begin with and knew it was just for pain.
I have never in my life felt so low for asking for help; not ever. It wasn’t because my doctor refused to prescribe a pain pill for me; it was the way she went about telling me she wouldn’t.
My doctor has no idea how much pain I’m in daily.
I feel like some people [junkies/addicts] have ruined access to care for those like me who truly need care, but in my humble opinion, the doctors should read the patient’s chart before concluding that someone is a junkie/addict.
Let me tell you, if this is how they make heroin addicts feel, it is no wonder why people commit suicide.
Maybe instead of the doctors ‘acting like they know how someone feels’ maybe they should ask thepatient to tell them how they feel, really listen to what the patient says, and not judge them because of their past.
I was never a heroin junkie/addict, ever. I had become addicted to prescription pain pills because they were prescribed for me, but I was never a heroin addict. I hate that drug with a passion. I hate the fact that people mess it up for those who are truly suffering in pain, only to be treated like I was treated.
Also, the corrections staff documented how I was sleeping (sitting-up), for my doctor (I can no longer lay down because it hurts too bad), so that way my doctor would know from their perspective, how I was still not getting any sleep. I just want people, including professionals like doctors, to open their eyes when it comes to people’s feelings.
I used to think that you could go to your doctor for help. But, even now, I waited so long before I called for help this time only to be made to feel like the lowest-of-the-low. Let me tell you, had I been a junkie/addict, this would have sent me over the edge.
Just because I was in corrections doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I have changed my life dramatically. And, for people to come-off like they are better is just insane to me. Not to mention, doctors are supposed to help us, not treat us inhumane. All I am asking for is help.
Thank you, for sharing your thoughts and feelings, Melanie.
Remember, Jesus Loves You and Jesus is Lord!