Trout Republic

As you all know, Miss Trixie and I are in the middle of building a house. When most people say that it means they are having workers come and do it for them, but for us, we are literally building a house.

We are nailing the nails and screwing the screws, the last part of that really sounding a tad perverse. But anyhow we are in the middle of that process also known as “testing your relationship.”

Why just yesterday Miss Trixie remarked that we work together so well, and I had to admit we are like two peas in a pod. A cow pea and a sweet pea. Two totally different and opposite things.

To give you an example this is how our day generally goes. Ol’ Dutch will decide on what project to undertake and having done it a thousand times before or perused Youtube for instructions starts the process.

I get the materials and tools and start in. It's at this point that Miss Trixie starts asking questions. Which goes on non-stop for the rest of the day. And I am not sure if she really wants to know as the tone is somewhat accusing in nature.

That question-and-answer period is followed up by her perusing the Internet to prove I am wrong and then if that does not work she calls up an “expert” to see if they can add anything to fuel that fire.

It's at this point that the rhubarb begins. Also known as “a fight.” For if there is one thing that men cannot stand when working its conversation let alone corrective conversation. I mean really ladies. Just look at how we drive. We would rather drive around lost for two hours than ask for directions. So just leave us alone in our ignorance.

I would admit that she does see mistakes that I am making and is helpful in so many ways but I am too tired today to admit that. It used to be that when I got into a fight with my significant other it meant that there was sure to be a make-up session to follow but now it just means we are both tired, shake hands and go to bed.

I actually did the foundation to this house myself and it was difficult at best. The two grands and son #1 came and helped and we got the cement in the forms and it seems to be holding up at this point. Which is good because a good foundation is paramount to success in any endeavor.

Whether it be buildings or women’s bodies, a good foundation is the key to looking good. For just as a good base keeps a building nice and tidy so women's foundation wear keeps shapes and lifts to support her upper stories.

Ol’ Dutch got to thinking about such things – a dangerous proposition according to Miss Trixe – and I thought about the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy. That leaning pile of stones has been doing so for some time and they even went in and did some work on the foundation to help slow that process.

But something must be amiss over there as just last week another famous tower started to lean precariously and is in danger of falling now too. Some people are shocked and amazed that such things can happen but what else can you expect from a person who eats round pizza from a square box served in triangle shapes. It just doesn't make sense.

Thinking such as that can lead to failures all across society I think and so we here in America have come up with square Pizzas in square boxes served in square pieces. And you don't see our towers leaning either. Point taken and proven all in one quick paragraph.

So, say a prayer today for Ol’ Dutch and Miss Trixie as we are going to try and install another large door which if not for my long suffering patience would surely end up with her and I coming unfixed.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com.