Psychologists have written mountains of papers on the importance of communicating with your children, especially when they are teenagers and young adults.

I say talking with them is great, but there are some things parents never want to hear:

“I’m in jail-can you bail me out?”

“I’m pregnant. But don’t worry, it will work out great. I’ll live with you and you can take care of the baby....”

“You’ll never guess what we did in bed last night....”

“Aw, come on...it’s just a little (weed, coke, meth)...”

“Did you know you have a flat?”

“I dyed my hair purple.”

“Janice’s brother and his band are moving in with me for a while....”

“I got a job! It’s in a strip bar, but I just serve drinks and swing on this swing...”

“You know the money I made this summer? I bought a motorcycle.”

“We are going to eat healthy. I threw away all the beef and chicken and bought a bunch of tofu...”

“Are you sitting down?”

“Did you know your hair is turning gray?”

And, from purely personal experience:

From daughter in Boulder to mother in Maryland: “I’m getting married the day before graduation so everybody only has to make one trip to Boulder. I’m going to be really busy with finals, so will you take care of everything for me?”

From same daughter to mother, in relation to same wedding: “Dad’s bringing his girlfriend. Can you keep her busy so I can spend some time with Dad?”

And this from my youngest when she was in third grade (she was precocious- she didn’t wait until she was a teenager to cause trouble): It was January in Wisconsin and two weeks before her birthday. She arrives home after school with about 20 kids in tow: “I invited my friends to my birthday party today!”

Communication: Priceless. Peace of mind is something else.